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What's your excuse?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by kafka, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. moosie

    moosie Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Age:
    61
    Jul 18, 2010
    Western Connecticut
    Something I already wanted suffered a huge price drop.

    In other words, I got it cheap.
     

  2. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

    Oct 30, 2017
    Ohio
    I remember that one!
     
    BobbyZ likes this.

  3. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

    Oct 30, 2017
    Ohio
    "No excuse, Drill Sergeant!"

    Those four words got me out of trouble several times.

    One time about a half dozen did some stupid thing or didn't do something we were supposed or got caught effing off, whatever...

    Anyway, they lined us up outside the mess hall and had us go in one at a time. I was last in line as usual (everything is alphabetical in the army) and each guy would enter and I could hear them through the window "What's you excuse, private?" and each guy would try to come up with some lame excuse. As soon as the words were out of his mouth the drill sergeant would start screaming at him to do push-ups, generally cussing him out and belittling him the whole time.

    After that he would be given a week of extra duty and sent out the door.

    When my turn came and he said "What's your excuse, Private?" I remembered the advice that a sergeant at the reception station had given us and blurted out "No excuse, Drill Sergeant!"

    He looked at me, chuckled a bit and said "Get out here, numb nuts."* No push-ups, no extra duty, no screaming, no muss, no fuss. The other guys couldn't believe I walked out of it with nothing.


    * what he actually called me was far more profane but I'd never be able to say it on here.
     
    moosie likes this.

  4. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

    Oct 30, 2017
    Ohio
    The Buffalo Theory


    WELL YA SEE, NORM, IT’S LIKE THIS… A HERD OF BUFFALO CAN ONLY MOVE AS FAST AS THE SLOWEST BUFFALO. AND WHEN THE HERD IS HUNTED, IT IS THE SLOWEST AND WEAKEST ONES AT THE BACK THAT ARE KILLED FIRST. THIS NATURAL SELECTION IS GOOD FOR THE HERD AS A WHOLE, BECAUSE THE GENERAL SPEED AND HEALTH OF THE WHOLE GROUP KEEPS IMPROVING BY THE REGULAR KILLING OF THE WEAKEST MEMBERS.IN MUCH THE SAME WAY, THE HUMAN BRAIN CAN ONLY OPERATE AS FAST AS THE SLOWEST BRAIN CELLS. EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF ALCOHOL, AS WE KNOW, KILLS BRAIN CELLS. BUT NATURALLY IT ATTACKS THE SLOWEST AND WEAKEST BRAIN CELLS FIRST. IN THIS WAY, REGULAR CONSUMPTION OF BEER ELIMINATES THE WEAKER BRAIN CELLS, MAKING THE BRAIN A FASTER AND MORE EFFICIENT MACHINE. THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS FEEL SMARTER AFTER A FEW BEERS.”

    -Cliff Clavin
     

  5. Sanity Inn

    Sanity Inn Tele-Meister

    162
    Jun 23, 2017
    Ottawa, Canada
    It's an electric guitar, i thought I was supposed to plug it into the wall socket ....:confused:
     

  6. flathd

    flathd Friend of Leo's

    Jan 29, 2008
    Twin Cities,MN
    I've been framed!

     

  7. brogh

    brogh Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 26, 2010
    italy
    i wasn't there .. and if i was ....i was sleeping
     

  8. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

    Oct 30, 2017
    Ohio
    I can't be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.
     

  9. 3fngrs

    3fngrs Friend of Leo's

    Oct 30, 2017
    Ohio

  10. codamedia

    codamedia Friend of Leo's

    Apr 4, 2009
    Western Canada
    I wasn't listening ...
    My wife knows that excuse to be very true so I can get away with it whenever I need to :D
     

  11. televillian

    televillian Tele-Meister

    443
    Oct 3, 2013
    Clarkdale, AZ
    ignore those videos, it wasn`t me
     

  12. dogbert

    dogbert TDPRI Member

    Age:
    28
    73
    Mar 4, 2018
    Texas
    I ate my homework
     

  13. Frank'n'censed

    Frank'n'censed Poster Extraordinaire

    Mar 27, 2011
    Parts Unknown
    ”What's your excuse?”

    How much time you got?
     

  14. therealfindo

    therealfindo Tele-Holic

    750
    Jun 26, 2012
    Germany

  15. charlie chitlin

    charlie chitlin Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Age:
    56
    Mar 17, 2003
    Spring City, Pa

  16. esetter

    esetter Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

    Sep 1, 2011
    MI

  17. mad dog

    mad dog Friend of Leo's

    Jun 27, 2005
    Montclair, NJ
    Honest, it just jumped into my hand!
     

  18. AngelDeville

    AngelDeville Tele-Afflicted

    Age:
    107
    Dec 27, 2007
    Albuquerque
    I thought it was a fart...
     

  19. uriah1

    uriah1 Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

    Feb 12, 2011
    Around
    The dog did it.
     

  20. HoodieMcFoodie

    HoodieMcFoodie Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

    Age:
    56
    Oct 22, 2007
    Tamworth, 'straya.
    It wasn't me, it was uriah1. Honest. :D
     

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